3 and half years ago the word “balance” was something I thought only applied to gymnasts, but it turns out the word has much greater significance. At least it does for me now. Prior to becoming aware of the idea of life balance I worked and played as my heart desired not really stopping to think about my body, my mind, or things like rest and recharge. I was in fairly constant motion and I have learned that when you are in constant motion it is very difficult to get a handle on where you are at all.
When I was originally diagnosed with Leukemia in November 1998, after a week of chats with my Docs and learning about some of the Patient world, I figured that I would be “on the shelf” for about 6 months. Fortunately that time was significantly extended as it was about 18 months before I had energy to last me the whole day allowing me to increase my activity level. I say fortunately as I do feel that if I hadn’t had that extended lay off I very probably wouldn’t have learned what I deem to be an extremely valuable lesson in balance.
I’m an ambitious person, and a lot of times my ambition runs away with me, or I allow it to. But since having a lot of time off, time that I have used to reflect and think, I have decided that balance is more important than ambition. Not that they can’t exist together, just not the way I had tried to mix them before I got sick.
I will tell you that it is easy for me to talk about the value and importance of balance when I am lying in a hospital bed with low energy and not feeling very well, it is quite another thing for me to do it when I’m climbing the mountain on my way back to doing many of the things I love and miss. So as I begin, and have begun, to resume many of the things I love and have missed over the past 8 months I am keeping that word balance in mind.
For me balance means my priorities on a daily basis and with respect to my whole life, and everything in between. I feel we all have a different place where we feel balanced, some like to work more some like to play more. What I can tell you is that since I have become aware of the concept and decided to make it a part of my life, many of the things I thought were important, really aren’t too important at all. I’m still working on what my most comfortable balance is, and I feel it probably will always be a work in progress as I’m sure my tastes, desires and goals will continue to evolve as they have for my past 26 years.
Just this week for example I had a really abstract thought, one that had never occurred to me before. “What if I don’t grow RealTime Cancer outside Newfoundland?” What if? That really isn’t something that has occurred to me before. Not that I have always thought I’m obligated to, or that we definitely will bring RealTime Cancer to new regions, it’s just that my default was that “hey if it works here then we’ll bring it everywhere”. Remember my ambition. So just this week I had the thought that maybe I won’t push and set big-time growth goals, maybe I will expand across the province and be quite content that we were able to do that. And honestly as I had those thoughts I really did get this nice calm feeling inside.
Now who knows what the future will hold, or what I’ll choose to create, but I will say that I as have been re-entering some familiar parts of this world, places that I haven’t been in for a little while, many different perspectives on balance are being considered. And I really feel that the process of thinking through my balance, my personal and professional goals, that process I feel has such great value and importance. I find it quite easy to get caught up on the cycle of life, where we are just moving from one day to the next without really consciously living, life becomes like a habit. And I am being very cautious of that as I resume many of my RealTime Cancer duties as I know that I have a tendency and an inherent desire to chase and capitalize on opportunity. I also have the ability to see opportunity everywhere which makes that desire of mine much more of a Challenge. But I do firmly believe in living a conscious life, making conscious choices every day, and because of this new awareness I can tell you that I’m proceeding with caution against myself.
Where this gets me I don’t quite know yet but I can tell you that it has given me great comfort to know that I’m even aware of my ambitious tendencies, and as I increase my strength and my energy grows I will focus on keeping my health, not just my career, in balance. I really feel that if we don’t take care of ourselves, all of us, our minds, emotions, bodies and spirit, then we can’t effectively take care of anyone else. I fully believe that we, individually, are the most important people in our lives.
Have a fantastic day, and I’ll be back soon.
Always…
Live Life. Love Life.
Geoff
