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Young Adult Cancer Canada > Community > Profiles > Laurissa Clarke
Laurissa Clarke
Age: 26
Hometown: St. John’s, Newfoundland
What is your diagnosis? Grade 2 Oligodendroglioma (Brain cancer).
What school do you attend? Memorial University of Newfoundland, past and present.
What are your career goals? Guidance Counsellor, Educational Psychologist or a Counsellor with a not-for-profit organization.
What is your occupation? Substitute teacher/student. I’m back in school completing my Masters of Education (Counselling Psychology).
Your cancer experience
How did you find out you were sick? What led to your diagnosis?
My first symptom was a grand mal seizure. I lost consciousness and was rushed to the hospital for tests. After an MRI my neurosurgeon broke the news to me and my family: I had a low grade glioma (brain tumour).
The word “cancer” was never said until four months after my diagnosis. I had to ask, “Is this benign?” to which my doctor said, “We won’t use that word with you” and then “cancer” was dropped like a bomb.
What year was it? What was your age at the time?
It was December 20, 2010. I was 25.
In which hospitals were you treated?
St. Clare’s Mercy Hospital and the Health Sciences Centre.
At what level of education were you at diagnosis?
Bachelor of Education (Primary/Elementary)
What were your first thoughts when diagnosed?
What’s for lunch? Steroids really do alter your thoughts, and appetite. I hadn’t eaten in an hour. Then work. I immediately called my boss to cover my Christmas shifts.
How did your family react?
They were shocked and visibly upset. They really tried to hold it together around me, and they did a pretty good job.
How did your friends react?
Most of my friends reacted appropriately, but a lot of my close friends don’t live here anymore. I found that very difficult. Some ignored it, some were afraid to bring it up, some were just plain inappropriate. People have different ways of dealing with their emotions, and I just had to learn to accept that. I’m still struggling with the lack of support and understanding from some people who I thought would be right by my side.
What did your treatment consist of?
I had my craniotomy (brain surgery) on January 14, 2011. I was told that the tumour would be removed. I thought that I might have some other treatment and then this would all be behind me. But they were only able to take 25 per cent of the tumour. The rest is intertwined with my healthy brain tissue so I will have my cancer for the rest of my life. This was a huge blow.
Because my cancer is slow-growing, I have to wait for it to get worse before it can be treated. I still have a hard time wrapping my head around this, even though I understand that there aren’t any other options. I am now having MRIs and oncology appointments every three months.
I was put on steroids for eight weeks to reduce the swelling on my brain. I gained 30 pounds in five weeks. I was awake 22 out of 24 hours a day. I ate every hour I was awake. I was very emotional and irritable. I actually emailed the side effects to my family and apologized in advance because I could feel what was happening to me, mentally. The psychosis went away when I came off Decadron, but the 30 pounds stayed. I had full closet of clothes that didn’t fit me for 13 months. Half of my head was shaved for surgery.
What is your current medical status?
The tumour is stable at Grade 2 (slow growing).
How is life different for you now post-diagnosis?
Things are pretty great right now. I've finally lost the steroid weight and I feel like myself again. I'm back to work. I'm hanging out with my friends again. I'm driving. I actually want to leave my house.
2011 was the hardest year of my life, but 2012 has been nothing but AMAZING so far. I have developed a strong sense of empathy for other people. I have an understanding of dealing with this type of situation. My experience with cancer has already proven to be a huge advantage for me in my budding counselling career. It has also confirmed that I have chosen the right path; I want to help people. I have A LOT of appointments at the hospital, but that's as it should be!
What was the toughest part of your challenge?
As silly as this sounds, losing my hair, the weight gain, and losing my driver's license were the most devastating factors last year. I was completely robbed of all independence. My self-esteem was shattered when I grew out of all my clothing. Half of a bald head didn’t help. Having to leave work was hard, too. My colleagues are the kindest people I've ever met. Being alone in my apartment all day was isolating.
What was the best lesson you took away from your challenge?
Don’t ever take a single moment for granted. I know this is a cliché, but it is for a reason. Appreciate the little things, like a sunny day (even if it is cold and windy), or driving yourself to the doctor! Don’t waste time. If you want to do something, do it now. Live your healthy years to the fullest. No one knows what tomorrow will bring. Regret nothing, and learn from your mistakes. You can't go backward, just forward!
I have learned SO much--this is the positive side of having cancer. Perspective.
What really motivates you to keep going?
My younger sister, Erica, has been by my side ever since she was born. She was actually in my hospital bed for the entire eight days after surgery. She calls me every day. She is my number one supporter.
My wonderful friend, Nicole, reacted completely appropriately. She let me know she was sad and scared. She would cry and tell me how she hated that this was happening to me. She came to visit me the night before my surgery, and was there the minute I could see friends afterwards. It made me feel less isolated that someone would finally show me how they honestly felt about this. She was, and still is, right by my side. She is honest, I can always count on her, and she is the very definition of a true friend. I'm so lucky to have her in my life.
My friends at work and my students make it a lot easier for me to get up in the morning.
What are your thoughts and feelings about your illness now? How have they changed since before your diagnosis?
When I used to hear the word "cancer," my mind immediately went to thoughts of death. Once I was diagnosed, I grew to understand that cancer is a livable disease, not a death sentence. Today I know that I am one of the lucky ones. One year after brain surgery, I've bounced back to myself (almost 100 per cent).
My birthday is now a celebration of my life, and the gift of another year. I'm happy just to breathe the air.
Do you know of any preventative measures that people can take to lower their risk of having an experience like yours?
There are none that I know of.
Did you attend any support groups during your challenge? No.
If you did not attend a support group, why?
I wasn’t ready. The word “cancer” was not said. My step-mom once wrote down my appointment at the “c. centre.” It took our family a long time to accept my diagnosis.
How are you connected with Young Adult Cancer Canada?
My oncologist gave me the pamphlet, and my social worker gave me the “We Get It” DVD to watch. After watching that, I knew I wanted to become involved with YACC.
Posted on Oct 04, 2011 - 05:43 AM
If you are interested in connecting with Laurissa Clarke please email connect@youngadultcancer.ca.