Stephanie Sliekers

Present Age: 25 (26 in a month!)

Hometown: Milton, ON

What school did you attend?
University of Toronto, Double Major in Political Science and English, graduated in 2007

Do you work?
Yes, at the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH) in Toronto

What are your career goal(s)?
I’d like to work in health policy or communications.

Your Cancer experience:

How did you find out you were sick? What event(s) led to the diagnosis?
In the first week of June 2010, I got a really bad chest cold. At the time, I was beginning to train for a half-marathon, but couldn’t run for more than 5 minutes without stopping to gasp for air. That weekend, I tried to do a triathlon I had registered for months before. It didn’t work out. I got pulled out of the swim by a lifeguard boat after having a pretty severe panic attack, because I couldn’t catch my breath. This shocked and scared me; the swim was my strongest leg of the race --- I’ve been a competitive swimmer since I was 11!

I followed up with my family doctor to nip whatever was causing me trouble breathing in the bud, I wanted to get on with my training. I was also seeing a physiotherapist at the time to sort out some sharp pains I was getting late at night in my right shoulder. After a month of doctor visits, my family doctor ordered a chest x-ray that discovered the source of all my symptoms: a 10 x 15cm tumour in my right chest cavity.

What was your diagnosis?
I have a sub-type of diffuse large b-cell non-Hodgkin lymphoma that originated in my thymus, stage 2E.   

What were your first thoughts when diagnosed?
How am I going to tell my mother?

How did your family react?
My two sisters, my mom, and I became very close after my father died six years ago, so their reaction was immediately to be near me and endure what I was enduring by my side. I asked them right off the bat to be strong, upbeat, and positive when they were around me; I didn’t want to see their tears or anger because in the beginning there was no need for that. I’m sure there’s a lot they don’t let me see, but when we’re together it feels like I’m invincible.

How did your friends react? Were you treated any different?
I struggled a great deal with each one of my friendships throughout the diagnosis and treatment process. Not one person I knew had any experience with a person in their mid-20s having been diagnosed with cancer, so I think there was a learning curve for all of us. Some friends called non-stop to get updates, others messaged me awkwardly, some reached out with their own cancer experiences (usually a parent or an aunt or uncle), and other friends called and were unable to speak through their sobs, continued to grumble to me about something petty like their inactive love life, or condescended to know what I was going through. How do you explain to your friends that your idea of "norma"’ has been irreversibly changed, especially if you don’t really understand how yourself?  

What did your treatment consist of?
I have been treated as an out-patient at PMH through chemotherapy and radiation. I have been getting the chemo regiment R-CHOP once every three weeks for six months, and then four weeks of daily radiation (Monday-Friday).

To go from half-marathon training to the body of a 65-year-old woman was a hard leap to make in three months. I have to pull myself out of the car cautiously, I am constantly fearful of catching a cold, my knees ache, my stomach never knows what it "feels like," I’m bald and perpetually in sweat pants, I’m gaining weight, and I can barely walk to the car let alone go to a yoga class!

I have become very isolated. My family, boyfriend, and immediate friends are the only people I see on a regular basis. Social contact was limited to work, and once I stopped working I lost all contact with the social world completely. Everyone keeps telling me to rest, but really all I want to do is run, swim, walk, bike – anything! Especially because I’m on 100mg of prednisone for 5 days during treatment, my mind says RUN but my body says watch non-stop episodes of Jersey Shore until my brain numbs.

In which Hospital(s) are you treated?
I’m currently being treated at Princes Margaret Hospital in downtown Toronto.

What is your current medical status?
I am currently in treatment.

What is the toughest part of your challenge?
Becoming a "sick person."  I was so scared to lose my hair, simply because I didn’t want to be perceived as a "cancer patient," but mostly, I didn’t want anyone to feel sorry for me. I was one of the healthiest people I knew! But surprisingly, when I lost my hair, it wasn’t a big deal. It’s kind of fun to be bald, and to be honest, I haven’t noticed any pitiful glances. Maybe it’s because I realize my body has taken on a far more important challenge, and my bald head became a badge I wore honourably. This is just one more battle that will lead me to a healthy lifestyle!   

What is the best part of your challenge?
Seeing how relationships can flourish when put up against challenging circumstances. My boyfriend and I had only been dating one year when I got news of the tumour in my chest. I had no idea how either of us would cope, and whether those two individual styles would be in any way compatible. But somehow, without developing a dependence on each other, we grew closer, and I gradually realized he wanted to be there for me, and had some very honest, heartfelt perspectives to offer. He’s the one I’ve gone to in my moments of weakness, and he has consistently impressed me by so readily sharing his own fears, but still staying determined to get me better. He amazes me everyday, and I’m so grateful to have him by my side throughout this.  

What really motivates you to keep going while you are sick?
Throughout this experience, all I can think about is how strong and wise I’m going to be after it. Cancer is often what people talk about as the scariest news they can get. I’m going to hit my 27th birthday, and have beaten cancer! I will be a far more confident and self-assured person knowing that I have an experience behind me that forced me to believe in myself. Not many 20-somethings can say that!

How is life different for you now post diagnosis (physically, emotionally, socially, spiritually)?
The diagnosis process was long for me, so I was very relieved when I finally had a diagnosis and a treatment plan. Also, preliminary research told me that what I had was very treatable. Actually enduring treatment is something else altogether. Every meal I eat, every date I plan, every step I take, has to be calculated. Spontaneity and freedom are distant memories. I find I’m constantly planning what I’m going to do "once this is all over with," and eagerly anticipating having my old strong body back. Chemo is hard, but once I get back to my old self, cancer will be my memory rather than my present. I’ve had to become very accommodating to change, and I suspect life will throw more curveballs at me even after treatment.

What lessons or messages have you taken away from your experience?
Pick the people you allow into your life wisely, because you never know when you’re going to depend on them. Bad news can come anytime, and every relationship you’re in should be one you can benefit from when and if that day comes.

What are your thoughts and feelings about your illness now? How have they changed since before your diagnosis?
I read in Lance Armstrong’s book that a cancer survivor told him after he was diagnosed, “we are the lucky ones."  I’m wondering if I’ll feel that way on the other side of this. Like I was offered a renewed and unique perspective that few others can share, and it will help me to lead a more fulfilling and appreciative lifestyle.   

What are some (if there are any you know of) preventative measures that people can take to lower their risk of having an experience like yours?
My advice is frequent check-ups, and don’t hesitate to badger you doctor with all your symptoms, you never know what you could be overlooking. Also, if you have the chance to go on benefits at work, even if you’re a healthy, young 20-something who will “never get sick”… take it! And don’t be afraid to set high standards for yourself, expect the worst but hope for the best!     

Did you attend any support groups during your challenge?
Yes, I’m attending support groups through Wellspring and Gilda’s Group in Toronto. At first, it was frustrating because I had a hard time connecting with people over the age of 65 (who seem to make up most cancer support groups), but slowly I’m finding the resources targeted towards young adults like this website.

How are you connected with Young Adult Cancer Canada?
I signed up for goaltender.ca, thrilled to hear about a cancer support network targeting young adults, and online! From there, Karine at Young Adult Cancer.ca contacted me and I’m thrilled to be a part of the site and hope to connect with any others in a position similar to mine in the Toronto area.

Are you interested in helping others facing cancer challenges?
Yes! Email me!

If you are interested in connecting with Stephanie Sliekers please email connect@youngadultcancer.ca.