To pick up my story where I last left you, it is Friday, July 30th and I have been in the ICU since Tuesday. My condition has continued to worsen and during the evening hours of this Friday night the decision is made to place me on life-support as my oxygen levels have dropped all week.
According to my Dad’s journal my breathing was assisted at about 7:45 that evening, and all were aware that this was a step in the wrong direction. But at this point giving my body a rest was the priority. Although I had always contended that I would never want to be kept alive by a machine, during the years prior to my Cancer, I apparently understood that this was necessary and didn’t have a problem. Of course all the times that I explained I wouldn’t want to be on life-support I never pictured it happening under these circumstances. So I was intibated on that Friday night. I don’t know who was at the hospital other than my parents, brother, his girlfriend and Jenny. However I did later hear that my friends, who were out drinking, heard the news and promptly left the party to come to the hospital where they would spend many hours over the next several weeks.
I really wish I could have seen everyone who was by my side, and in the hospital to support those closest to me, knowing that they were there really gives me a good feeling. I can’t explain the mode in the family quiet room that night, or in the waiting room down the hall where my buddies would gather. However I feel I can say that it was a pressure filled environment full of uncertainty. The next couple of days would see me loose more ground and if there is such a thing as ‘rock bottom’ I am told I hit it on Sunday. This is the day my Dad wrote about in his first email. My family was called to the hospital and they had their ‘last’ moments with me, what exactly that consisted of I don’t know. In fairly simple terms my lungs began to bleed and this bleeding couldn’t be stopped. The medical staff began to suction blood from my lungs and it was at this point when the Doctors said those words that I’m sure were devastating to hear… ‘it could be any hour now’. But it wasn’t… sometime that afternoon my lungs stopped bleeding and my condition improved slightly. From there we would enter a period of consistent ups and downs, progress and setbacks. The next several weeks have been explained to me as repetitive as some days I would make minimal progress followed by a day that would see me loose ground.
I will talk more about this period and the days following my immediate waking. Hope you’re still with me and as most always you’ll hear from me soon.
Take Care,
Geoff
#4
