Hey everyone I’m here in your inbox with a boat load of info, happenings and thoughts as today and the past couple have been quite eventful inside and out for me. I would like you to note the subject of tonight’s email, those words were brought into my head tonight by the Mom of a very special Patient friend of mine who is in the midst of a big-time Challenge right now. I am extremely fortunate to know that those 10 two letter words above are her philosophy and I wanted to share her philosophy with you all.
I have had a different day for sure, dealing with the bureaucracy of our healthcare/government system, calling US hospitals and chatting with Doctors north and south of the border. I seem as though I have been all over the board today, and my emotions have followed. Some days I feel as though I could write you all about 100 times and have a full slate of news to share each time, other days are obviously not near as eventful. Today was one of the 100 message days, but instead I’ll put it all in this message and hopefully in fairly short form.
The situation at the start of the day was that my Transplant Doc in Toronto was checking with other Transplant Centers in Canada to see if they would have the capacity to Transplant me under what I call Plan A, which is late this month or early next. My Docs here were planning to do a similar search of Canadian Transplant Centers, and I was to continue my exploration of the American alternatives should the Canadian system not provide any desirable options. The American search involves two things, the hospitals themselves and the $$ which involves that bureaucracy mentioned above.
In short, dealing with the US hospitals is a treat, just like a well run business with solid customer service, as that is what their hospitals are, businesses. Dealing with our Department of Health was not so much of a treat. We all know that I am a Positive person, and I also know that any time I come close to mentioning a negative in a public forum like this it gets taken to extremes by a few in the audience, so I will say this very carefully, but I feel it needs saying.
When you are interacting with someone who is dealing with their life, and the potential loss of it, and I mean the very real potential loss of it, I feel you should always come from a place of love and act compassionately. Unfortunately that is not what happened today, and I feel there are many reasons for it – the current state of our healthcare on a national and provincial level and the personalities of those working within the system being two of the more prominent – just know that my experience today with the administrative side of our healthcare system was less than Positive. Not sure if I expected more, or too much, but the compassion that I normally receive from the Healthcare Professional side of healthcare was missing. That is all I’ll say on that subject at the moment, but take comfort from the fact that I’ll address it again. Please also know that I don’t feel we get anywhere by sitting around and bitching about the way things are… if you aren’t part of the solution you’re part of the problem.
So after a day full of ups and downs this is where we stand – my Transplant Doc in Toronto has made contact with the hospital in Ottawa and they are willing to Transplant me under what I consider to be Plan A. Very nice news that pretty much made my day. On the other side my Docs here aren’t sure switching Transplant Centers is the best thing considering the level of detail and variety in approaches between hospitals. I have made contact with a couple of hospitals in the US who are considering my case at present and over the next couple of days I will hear from them. However finding a hospital in Canada now negates any Government funding that I may have been able to source, despite the Challenges of today.
This brings me to a point where I have at least three options, stay home have additional chemo and head back to familiar Toronto to have my Transplant which seems to be a favourite at home – I’ll have a discussion with one of my Docs tomorrow to further explore the reasons behind that thinking. I assume I could head to Ottawa and have the Transplant as planned, not sure what role the Newfoundland Docs would play in that and whether or not their stamp of approval would be required but I feel if Toronto has no trouble with it neither will they. We’ll know fully tomorrow. And the other option is to opt for treatment in the US, which would be done without Government financial assistance.
A fairly clear direction at present and the next 24 hours will hopefully continue to shed light on where we are, and allow me to make a comfortable decision on which way we will go.
Through my discussions with a variety of Doctors in the past number of days it appears that I will get a different opinion from most every Doctor I speak with regarding my present condition and my future treatment. And that is part of realizing that as much as we may think medicine is science, I believe it is as much or more “art”, and there are less hard and fast rules than there are thoughts and estimates. So I feel after I have had ample opportunity to continue interacting with all these Docs, hopefully I’ll still have my head on my shoulders and at that point be able to check things out with my gut – the combination of my head and my heart – and then make a decision as to which road we will travel.
I would like to make one more brief point before I leave you and head downstairs for some ice-cream to cool off. While it may seem that these experiences are terrible to go through anytime, especially as a Patient in my situation, I would like to share another perspective that I have been working with throughout this latest Challenge. It relates to Personal Responsibility. I feel that those words, and more specifically the practice of that principle is lost many times, and too often we default to blaming as opposed to taking responsibility and doing something about the target of our blame. This really is an extension of my comment a minute ago about being part of the solution and not bitching about our situations. I feel that one of the most important steps we could ever take in this life is the one that leads toward taking full and complete responsibility for ourselves and our behaviour. And as I have played with my Challenges since last Thursday I have thought that there is no better place to take full and complete responsibility, there is no better place to Challenge the thought I have just presented than with your own health. It would seem to me that your health, your life, is one of the most important things to take responsibility for, so that is what I’m doing. I’m doing it as best I know how, in my own way, and I know I’ll meet obstacles along the road, more and less significant than those seen in the past many days, but I can continue to tell you that a Positive Attitude has a way with those obstacles and that in the many situations I’ve pulled it out, it hasn’t let me down yet.
As I leave the medical info from today is fine, blood is ok – platelets down a little, hemoglobin up a little – and the flu is under control, hasn’t progressed to any serious level and I think I might be ready to kick it out in a couple of days. And while I haven’t stepped on the scales in a while I can tell you by how my pants are fitting that the weight is up, and fortunately so it the strength.
Back very soon.
Always…
Live Life. Love Life.
Geoff
