A familiar place, something I have done more than once in the past, writing to you after learning that another Patient Buddy of mine has died. When this had happened in the past I often reacted with fear, that presented itself as frustration and anger with my own situation. I expressed my anger with Cancer and it’s presence in my life and the lives of those who I have shared experiences with in and around the hospital. My reaction was very angry, no so much today.
Today I am sad that a friend of mine, who faced some of the same Challenges I do, who had a similar disease as I do, who was young like I am, he is no longer physically here. I am sad because of that.
This is not the first time I have had a Patient Buddy, who has been my age, die, it’s happened a couple of times before, and when it does I feel something different. I think some of the difference is similar to the difference you feel when someone younger dies compared to someone older. And then there is another very distinct difference for me, as these Patient Buddies have had very similar struggles as I have, and I feel because of that we have a unique point of connection, a separate level on which we meet. And those thoughts often bring me to asking the question, why am I still here, cause it’s not like it was a certainty, not that it ever is.
I have figured some answers to that question, others I may or may not work out. But thinking about that question most always brings me to the same place… I’m a lucky man (though I relate to the word “lucky” much more than “man”). Truly blessed to be here I am, and for however long I’m here I can promise you I’ll be living those words I leave you with every time I write.
Today I’m blessed to have had contact with my friend Jeff, to have had him in my life for the short while he was, and while he’s not physically here anymore, he’s still here. It’s always tough to find Positive things in sad situations like these, but I can tell you that his presence and his passing have given me an extra touch of appreciation today, and I take comfort from that.
Today is a great day to remember how blessed you are. I know I’m one lucky man.
Always…
Live Life. Love Life.
Geoff
