As I battle through another weekend that is supposed to be full of rest and recharging, which is happening, but is also being Challenged by my desire to get out and do. As I battle through the desire to be active and my body’s desire to wind down and lay low, I have had a re-appearance of a thought I’ve had off and on since last summer when I first learned of my relapse. It relates to my disease, the treatments I’ve had and the future for me and my disease.
It seems to me that we would have given it our best shot medically to cure me the first time out, while I did participate in a study that was comparing two different chemo options after my original diagnosis, the treatments were widely accepted, and my Pre-Transplant treatment was what was believed to be the best combination for long-term success. Long-term success is considered to be Remission for 5 years. However as we know while I did achieve Remission after first round chemo during my original Series, and maintained that Remission throughout treatment, my first Remission ended last summer. Thus those long-term results we were hoping for didn’t happen.
So last summer I had more treatment, it was the same two chemo drugs that I had for first round chemo during my original Cancer Challenge, a very tough round of chemo, not the toughest I’ve had, but it kicked my ass pretty good. Fortunately it also did the job on the Leukemia as I achieved my second Remission after my first round of chemo, which was a Positive step for sure. However with my second Cancer Challenge the treatment protocol changed and instead of having 2 additional rounds of chemo before Pre-Transplant chemo I went straight to Transplant. Those of you who have been with me since this time last year may remember my search for another Transplant Center and my exploration of other treatment options. Well that largely happened because Princess Margaret Hospital, where I had my first Transplant, couldn’t Transplant me under what I call “plan A”. A nursing shortage from the summer meant that they wanted me to have additional chemo, which I knew was not their ideal scenario, so I refused and decided to pursue other options which lead me to Ottawa Hospital where I did have my second Transplant.
This time my Pre-Transplant protocol was changed, different chemo, and no radiation. Seems that we worked on the philosophy that the other protocol didn’t work first time so we’ll try another one, which makes sense. However it also suggests to me that second time out I had the next best option. So here’s where the logical mind of me kicks in and asks the question that I have been thinking about… if I had the best treatment options first time out and didn’t have the success we were hoping for, how can I possibly expect to have the success I want this time out having the “next” best treatment option? With my limited medical knowledge, it would seem to me that I can’t.
However there is another side and this is the side I have been focusing on more and more, and it is a perspective that I have been very open to right from the beginning almost 4 years ago when I was first diagnosed. It involves all the other factors outside of the medical treatment. I have always felt that medical science was a very important part of any cure I was looking for, however it was never the only part of my formula, it was never even the most important part of my formula, and it still isn’t. I used to say that I think it was about 20%, a 20% that I couldn’t do without, but it was just 20% of my strategy to get where I wanted to be.
The other 80% is made up of things like attitude, love and support, diet, lifestyle, faith, the major universe intangibles that I love to think about, and did I mention attitude!!?? My attitude has remained steady, still making the effort to stay Positive always, the love and support is impossible to describe, my faith is as rock solid as ever and stronger than anyone I have ever met, those things seem to have been enhanced since my first Cancer Challenge. And that leaves my diet and lifestyle for me to focus on, which I have been doing.
My eating habits have been fantastic in the past 2-3 months and I can feel the difference in how I feel. I have also been very active, especially for 10 months Post-Transplant, and I love the activity. As I was out for a hike today, burning my legs and lungs, I decided that it’s time for me to renew my commitment to kicking my own ass more often. It’s time for me to put my physical conditioning up a few notches on the priority list. It is pretty jam packed up near the top of that list, but on September 20th I don’t just want to make it up Signal Hill I want to be able to do it twice if I choose.
I used the word Success tonight to talk about Remission and the 5 year cure mark, but the truth is I’ve had Success with this Challenge so many times over I can’t keep count. Right from my first week in hospital I decided that while “Victory was never in question”, Victory was never to be determined by a blood test and what medical science told me about my condition. It was to be determined by my effort to take my Challenges and make something Positive from them. And I have loved that process, and I still love it, so much that I am again renewing my commitment to make the effort to be here as long as I can to continue the Journey. It’s been amazing so far and I’m more focused than ever on seeing just how far this road goes.
Always…
Live Life. Love Life.
Geoff
