Yes that’s right, I have spent much of the last two days reading my messages of a year ago. This is something I do often and really enjoy, almost as much as I like reading the messages I receive, especially from specific periods throughout the past 14 months. One of these periods is my time in the ICU from the summer, I read both the messages sent by my Dad and the messages he received. I realize I haven’t talked much about that experience, but that is not from a lack of interest as I am very keen to know every detail about my experience that I can’t remember. As well as my experience I am really interested to know the experiences of all those involved and have consistently asked questions of all those involved throughout my summer hospital stay.
As for now, I am left to piece together the memories of others to compensate for the absence of my own, which is the only option for me. And that is fine as my memory of the events, both from my sleep and the time immediately preceding and following, is weak at best. But I do have some memory from that time, I have dreams that I remember, although I have no idea of when they occurred potentially during my sleep but maybe in the days after waking. Realizing that I haven’t talked much about that time, I feel that I want to give you my take on the situation and I would love to hear your take on it as you all had a very different experience than mine for a million different reasons. I’m not sure how long this will take or how many messages I will write but I will begin now and finish when I finish.
I figure the best place to begin is the beginning, and for me the beginning of this “period” was the night of July 24th, I believe as my memory is a little shotty these days, it was a Saturday night and I was playing Risk, the boardgame, with some friends. Ironically I won, yes that’s right I conquered the world. I say ironic as the very next day would see me begin to “take on the world” so to speak as I entered hospital at about 4 a.m. and proceeded to the ICU at approximately 5 that evening. This is where my memory stops, I remember being in the emergency and spending some of the most painful hours of my life there as I had the rygers and a temp of 41. But thanks to many factors, not the least of which is our organized medical system, I didn’t receive the proper drugs that I had in the past because the Nurses couldn’t find my chart. So I lay in pain without the aid of the necessary drugs for what seemed like days but was about 5 hours. Around 9 that Sunday morning I saw an Oncologist and begged him for some more morphine and he agreed. After that I pretty much don’t remember anything, except having to use the bathroom in the ICU later that day, but at the time I didn’t remember where I was just that I could recall a bathroom incident.
Apparently I made solid progress that night and was sent back to the floor, 4 North A, on Monday morning. You must remember that at this point I have no memory of what happened, although I was awake, and this whole story is pieced together from the answers of the many questions I have asked. However this progress was not a trend I would continue as I would be sent back to the ICU on Tuesday morning after a rygering incident. But more on that in a moment, first the reason I was forced to return to the hospital, my Hickman. Through the standard ‘culture’ blood tests performed when I spike a temp it was determined that I had a ‘line infection’, as in a Hickman line infection. I’m not completely sure when it was determined that I had a line infection but it is standard procedure to remove the Hickman as soon as any infection is discovered. Thus it had to be removed. Once again I was awake for this process but have no memory. My Mom who was in the room at the time watched as the Doctor placed his hand on my chest and simply pulled the catheter out of my chest. Unfortunately the cuff that holds the catheter in place was separated from the main line and remained in my chest. No problem as the Doctor would come back for the cuff the next day, and apparently he wasn’t so gentle as I still, 5 months later, have a bruise on my chest from the cuff removement. So now it is Tuesday and I have had my Hickman removed.
Story: Tuesdays are “grand” rounds on 4 North A, which meanings that the three Doctors on the team, several Nurses, my Pharmacist and some Residents all visit the Patients to see how they are. Shortly before these rounds my Mom bumped into one of my Doctors and she seemed to think that I was doing a little better, Mom didn’t agree for what ever reason she thought I was not making any progress. Well shortly after all the “rounds people” entered my room I started to ryger… and they stood motionless and watched unsure of exactly what to do. Mom, who had been with me through many of these situations before, knew that I needed to be warmed with many blankets as my body was shaking in an attempt to rise my temp. Fortunately one of my Nurses, who had also been with my through my “ampho-terrible” times earlier in the year, knew what drugs I needed and without a necessary Doctors order she pumped the meds into me which brought relatively quick relief.
Well from there I went straight back to the ICU, where I would spend the next several weeks as you all know. The following day saw me continue to loose ground and I would be placed on a pressurized oxygen mask, which I am told was incredibly uncomfortable and I wasn’t particularly fond of. This mask was with me for the next two days, which saw a lot of action with regards to my plans for everything from my funeral, my will to the performance of a tracheotomy (spelling), which would involve placing a device in my throat to help me breath with a life support machine that I did not yet need. But we were heading in that direction. I agreed to the procedure, should it be decided that it was necessary and I was unable to consent.
As I mentioned at this time I also planned my funeral and my will, which I had done several months prior during a sleepless hospital night stay. However I had done this in private and on my computer so no one knew about it, but fortunately I had the presence of mind to tell my brother where to find it on my hard drive. Once again I have to remind you that I have no recollection of this, which I find amazing as the first several times I heard it I had real trouble believing I did it. My funeral was planned, with fine detail from the Minister, the church, the Pallbearers, the speakers, and of course the music. The same type of detail was applied to my will, as I attempted to highlight who got what, I’m sure people were left out but from what I know I am amazed with the specifics of my instructions considering by this time on Thursday I hadn’t slept in 5-6 days and I was on a pressurized oxygen mask.
I am very glad that I was able to do both of these extremely important tasks, in the company of those closest to me. Unfortunately I continued to loose ground and my oxygen levels dropped forcing the Doctors and my family to make the decision to place me on life-support. This is where I’ll stop for now and continue with the events of Friday, July 30th. Hope you’re with me so far and as far as I can remember you would all hear from my Dad on the Monday after the weekend. You will hear from me sooner than Monday, probably later tonight.
More to come,
Geoff
#4
