Hey everyone, hope you are enjoying your weekend. I’ve had a great one, continued my “training” (eating), building my strength very slowly, and connected with some great friends. Far preferable to a weekend in hospital, and I finally seem to be coming out of the hospital routine as strange women don’t come in my room at all hours anymore… it’s only when I wish. Haha!! Seriously I have started to get a nice schedule back as I sleep through the night, still have naps during the day sometimes, but over all I have far more energy and stamina than I expected. I could definitely get used to my blood levels returning at this pace, as opposed to the 40 days as in the past.
This is also the longest time I have been away from the hospital in over a month, a nice change. I’m due back for blood work on Tuesday morning to check the main parts of my blood that I asked you all to remember (hemoglobin, platelets, white cells, neutrophils), my Potassium and a collection of other tests that I don’t make much sense of. We should also hear a final word from the lab tomorrow, although no news would not be a surprise to me given my Doc’s confidence in the early reviews of my marrow.
I have titled tonight’s message “clarity” as that is what I hope to achieve upon it’s completion. It isn’t so much that I feel we need to clarify things, more like I want to clarify things as I do like to keep everyone on the same level as much as possible.
The clarity I’m referring to involves this community we have created, and which we are all a part. I do feel that because I write the messages I have other responsibilities and one of those is communicating the “rules” and “purpose” of this on-line community. And I will do this very directly as I feel that will work well, at least that is my intention.
I approach this email group the same as I did the original My Friends Email Group, despite the fact that we have had far more community promotion this time, I feel my part is the same. My part is to write the messages, and I want you all to know that I will do that with a core philosophy in mind, that core is centered by a desire to be open and honest about my experiences. I didn’t start this group to give you all a pretend view of my experience, I started it to be very ‘real’ and open and honest. I may not talk to you all about everything I experience, but I will always be open and honest with my writings and the expressing of my thoughts and feelings. I give you my firm word that you will get nothing but the truth from me. And I want you all to know that my truth may be tough to read sometimes as my journey does come with some tough travels, I have gone through and will again go through some very dark, challenging places. And I want to share those with you, as I feel it is important for all of us to be open to the tough parts of life.
I don’t feel that the fairy-tale view of life is particularly realistic, or more to the point I don’t find it desirable. I believe that anything worth having in life requires effort, and I know my health is worth having, thus I’m willing to put as much effort in as is required. The other principle that I am a big believer in is the fact that life is full of Challenge, it is at every corner, it comes in all shapes and sizes, and it comes when you really don’t have room for it in your life. (If you think about it really, Challenge always comes when we don’t want it, or else we would call it opportunity.) My perspective is that things we call “Challenge” can also be Opportunities, yes even a Leukemia relapse can be an opportunity, and I know it is. That is some of the reason why we are here together.
Back to the effort thought, I also believe that anyone who ever grew up, and I don’t just mean they got older, but really grew, up, anyone who’s done that could not possibility believe that is it easy. Life isn’t supposed to be easy, it’s supposed to be a Challenge. And personally I choose to embrace the Challenges, and then deal with them the best way I know how.
And that brings me nicely to the Purpose part of this message. I’m not sure what all of you think of this email group, many of you have written to share your thoughts which is great, but I do want you all to know my motives and objectives surrounding this on-line community.
Sharing and Education. That’s it, I want to share my experiences as a Cancer Patient so that others may learn from my experience and learn some of the lessons I have learned along the road of facing my own mortality. And I want you all to see the value and importance of a Positive Attitude when facing a Challenge, Cancer or any other, and in life generally. I can tell you that no matter how tough you feel your situation is, if you stop and look around you will always find some one who is in a tougher spot. And if you can be Positive about your situation and your experiences then I believe you will always be best off. I can also tell you that I’ve tried this Positive Attitude theory out, in a whole bunch of really really tough times, and it has never failed me.
I came to the realization a long time ago that if my experience could make a Positive impact on another person’s life then the whole experience was an unquestioned success, no matter what happened to me medically. I still feel that way. It’s all about making a Positive impact on another’s life, as in my 25 years I’ve never experienced anything like making a Positive impact on another. It’s the pinnacle for me so far, and I’ve yet to find anything to match it.
So that’s why I’m here, and I hope you can take away some of the things I am sharing and hoping that you connect with. It’s great to have you all with me, this is a collective effort, and while it’s my journey, I can feel that I am not out here alone, not at all. Back soon with a look at the road ahead.
Always…
Live Life. Love Life.
Geoff
