Good Monday Morning – Sunday Evening.
It seems like forever since my Mom wrote the last message, which she is doing now again. Since Thursday, I haven’t slept, I’ve continued to fever and my stomach is still “done.” After five different antibiotic attempts, it appears that my infection is now reasonably under control. The past week has taken quite a toll on me physically, my muscles are deteriorating quickly and I have lost about 13 pounds since last weekend. None of that is particularly positive; however, the physical side of my Cancer Challenges is always the most difficult part for me, as my mind is usually and is presently rock solid.
I want you to know that I don’t view this journey in the traditional sense of me getting on the ice and kicking the shit out of the Leukemia. While I know that this is very comforting to many people because you have told me so, it really isn’t in my heart. This is a journey and I am traveling down a road, it’s a road with lots of ups and downs, the map never shows any further than a few short yards out, and I am very comfortable with that. I will also want you to know that I am approaching this journey with the same vigor, love, heart and determination that I bring to everything I choose to tackle, and yes, I have chosen to tackle this Challenge.
I would like to quickly point out that if you were to see me on any given day of the past week, those characteristics I mentioned might not necessarily be readily apparent. I feel that times when I feel well, I show them more, while times when I feel “not so well” they are probably more difficult to detect. Take comfort from the fact that no matter how I am feeling, they never leave, and I feel they are the core of my mind-set, and thus my whole approach to this journey.
For those of you who have been with me for a while, or have been following the recreation of my original Series, you’ll know about Mr. Ryger. Yesterday I had a meeting with Mr. Ryger, it was our first in quite some time. He dropped by twice to let me know he is back in town, and today he came by again, but I let him know that he wouldn’t be needed. I always know when he is coming because I usually feel cold or chilled, and I always get this feeling that runs up my back and over the top of my head. Today, for the first time ever, I got that feeling up my back and I was able to calm, relax, go inside and let him know that he wasn’t needed. Playing with that mental side of sickness has always been fun for me, and I feel today’s accomplishment is really, really significant. It seems that all I needed was peace and quiet and some internal focus.
Thank you to everyone for writing, I just haven’t been up to responding lately, but I always read.
I would like to ask you all again, if you are interested to continue joining my journey, please register as a My Friends Email Group member on the RealTime Cancer web site – address below. Have a fantastic day, and I will be back soon.
Always…
Live Life. Love Life.
Geoff
