Hey everyone, I must apologize for my absence, but it’s not a real deep apology, kind of a polite “sorry” as I don’t usually let this much time pass between messages. Throughout the past many years people have commented that long delays between messages often mean that I am not feeling well, thus I’m not writing. Which has been the case on many occasions. However, I am pleased to add another distinct possibility to that small list, I may also be feeling as well as I have in recent memory. Which is the case at present.
I had a fantastic weekend, seeing some friends and generally being active. Many trips to Signal Hill and I even did a little driving for the first time in a lot of weeks, nice to get a little more independence back!! Had a King of Day yesterday and the best part is that I’m sleeping well, thus am feeling great today. Energy remains on the climb, the muscles aren’t always happy with me, but that’s because I’m pushing them. Physically it’s all good. Blood work today is still good, platelets are down a little, white cells are up a little, my Doc is happy with the results and I’m back for blood here on Monday.
The physical side continues to improve and that is paralleled by my mental approach. The day-to-day mind-set is not proving too much of a Challenge for me, though I do have the tendency to advance myself down the road in conversation, but even that I have put the clamp on.
Yesterday in the middle of my super day I connected with Steve Bartlett who writes for a local paper, The Express. We met downtown for a beer – I had water – as it is part of a new approach he is taking, and we just sat and chatted, very casually. Of course a major part of the chat involved my health, the email group and my purpose for doing things the way I have chosen. It was a very comfortable conversation that lasted about 30-40 minutes maybe, and during it I found that I seemed to be saying much of the same things over and over. Which is not a new discovery for me, but when I get in those situations I have started to remember some wise words shared with me by a friend – “never get tired of saying the right things” -, and that is how I’m feeling.
I talked with Steve, as I do with most people, about the reality of my situation and my mind-set towards approaching it. You see the fact of the matter is that not one of us has a guarantee of being here tomorrow, that is a fact. Any one or number of us could physically leave at any time. The other fact of the matter is that I have a disease that is attempting to make that happen at a quicker pace than I would like. And because of that there is a whole collection of physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual factors that are influenced, perhaps the most prominent of which is the fact that I chose and choose to deal with my mortality. In some way I “deal” with that each and everyday and the result if often that I choose to “live and love” each day that I’m still here. And deem that “dealing” process to be a very healthy one, as I can see the benefits in my personality and my perspective on the bigger journey of which we are all travelers.
A big step that I have made since my Original Series is that I am now viewing this Cancer Challenge as a journey. There is no fighting, there is no battling, I do not have a combative mind-set. Cancer is my friend, it has taught me some amazing lessons, and I know that it will again teach me some very important lessons. (My aim is to be the wisest person ever! Haha) Seriously, Cancer is here in my life again for many purposes, and with some of the “Geoff Time” I’ve had over the past couple of weeks I’ve continued to think through and get comfort with those reasons. Cancer is here for now and it is influencing this part of my life’s journey, and I’m thankful for it, I don’t want it to be here till the end of my journey, but I don’t have full and complete control over that. If it is, it is. What I do have complete control over, all the time, no matter what, and this is the part that I say over and over again to most everyone I speak with… I always control my reaction to the situations that come with my Cancer Challenge, and the greatest lesson I have learned since November 6th, 1998 is that no matter my situation, no matter how tough it is, there’s always someone who has it tougher than I, and if I can be Positive about the Challenges and experiences that come my way I’ll always be best off.
And that is the message that you will all hear from me consistently in very and slightly different ways, but it will always be that message. Many people say “Attitude is Everything”, which I don’t believe, but what I do believe is that “Attitude is one of the most important things”. And I plan to consistently remind you of that, and show you real life examples of the value and importance of a Positive Attitude. I’m sure my journey ahead will provide ample opportunity.
I’m off to Toronto on Thursday morning to have a meeting with the Transplant Docs up there, and may be in touch before then, if not you’ll hear from me after my appointment as I’ll have my computer with me.
Hope you enjoy the beautiful day and I’ll be back soon.
Always…
Live Life. Love Life.
Geoff
