Funny how your perspective changes as you get older, or perhaps it’s for other reasons, but I’m here at 11:11 p.m. on a Saturday night and am very ready for sleep. In bed, where I have written so many emails, and am wanting to give you all a glimpse back and a snap-shot forward as well.
It was 4 years ago today that I entered the Intensive Care Unit at the Health Sciences Centre in St. John’s. A Hickman Catheter infection that I couldn’t come close to handling was the reason initially, and I would ultimately stay there for about a month. Most of that time I was asleep in a coma on life-support.
Not something I ever thought I would face at that young age (23), life-support and a coma. But there it was, in my path, a Challenge that needed dealing so I dealt as best I could. It was a wild time that I only really know about through the stories of others. My lack of memory is a point of frustration for me, as I have always wanted to know everything that was on my plate. I was aware when I was awake in ICU and in control of my care, but still have no memory of the experience, and obviously that’s the same for the weeks I was asleep. Many questions still run through my mind around that time, and perhaps that is why I have this desire to write/talk about it so much.
4 years is a long time and so much has happened since that time. So much. And while I love to look back, perhaps my favourite thing is to look forward, think about what I want to create, and then go after it. Having this core belief that I can, capital C-A-N, create anything I focus my heart and mind to tackling certainly helps this process.
So right now, and in the past month I have spent a considerable amount of time thinking about what I want to create next. I’ve been planning the big picture, the road ahead for RealTime Cancer for the next year and hopefully the many years down the road. And I have this feeling that the road will be as Challenging, rewarding and interesting as it has been to this point.
We have just this week launched a mini-golf tournament in St. John’s, for a bit of fun this summer. On September 20th we’ll be climbing Signal Hill in St. John’s and hills all over the world in the RealTime Cancer Climb. Both of those events will be lots of fun, but it’s the months that will follow that have me jacked up. The plans for this year’s education program in schools targeted at young people are taking shape so nicely and this will very possibly be the year RTC goes out of our home province. By that I mean it may be the year I physically go out of Newfoundland to speak and connect with young people, as I know many of you are scattered all over areas outside of my home province.
As I plan and write about the months and year ahead I want you also to know that I have once again realized I’m working too hard. I was able to keep the pace of a “normal” work week for quite a while but lately as I’ve been having blood taken out (equivalent to a donation of blood) every two weeks and I really feel the toll it’s taking on my body. I’m pooped!! So against my nature but very in-line with lessons learned in recent years I’m slowing down.
It is difficult for me to do that often times, especially when it relates to work. I was remarking to my girlfriend the other day, that for a guy who played sports his whole life all year round I haven’t played a thing in almost 5 years. While playing hockey and soccer are two of the things I miss the most I have let go of them for now without too much struggle. Work seems to be another issue, and it always has been.
But slowing down is required, so that’s what’s going to happen. Important to smell the roses you know, and sometimes you have to sit with them for some real deep breaths. Amazing times to here, and more of the same ahead I’m sure, count on me continuing to share.
Live life. Love life.