Home and resting, as that is what my abdominal muscles told me to do. Over four years into my Cancer Challenges and one of the strongest indicators my body gives me is the first sign I ever noticed… cramping of my abs. Sometimes it is a gentle reminder that slowing down is a good move, other times it is gripping pain that puts me in bed for days. Right now I’m nowhere near either, which means I’ve passed the point where my body first told me to slow down, and I’m still very far from the place I have pushed myself many times.
What can I say, it’s a constant battle for me and I’m learning, slowly, very slowly it seems sometimes.
The core issue for me, as I see it, is that I love a quick pace, I love motion, making things happen. It is truly one of the things that makes me happiest in this life. However in my present condition my strength and energy simply won’t allow me to keep the pace I love so much. There in lies potentially my greatest Challenge in this life.
So many exciting and interesting things have been happening with RealTime Cancer in the past month, and all signs are pointing to that trend continuing and growing. Very few things get me going as much as creating a vision in my head and making it happen. Whether it’s an event for RealTime Cancer, an experience I want to create for me and others, or something on a more personal front, taking something from concept to reality is one of my favourite things. And it seems a little ironic that as I reach a place, or stage, in life where I am more able than ever to tackle some of those creations, I am also very limited by my personal resources (energy, stamina, strength).
That is a source of frustration for me, on one hand…
… and then on the other hand I do feel, believe, understand that I’ve been able to make some good things happen with and despite the Challenges I’ve faced in the past 4 plus years. And when I stop, get centred and reflect that is a great source of comfort for me. I do take comfort in my past, and I really have learned that stopping to make time to sit and throw my thoughts on screen to all of you, that helps me stop, get centred and reflect. Often times it is my way of stopping, centring and reflecting, just works out nicely that I get to do that with all of you.
In the time it’s taken me to write this email I’ve felt the frustration slide away, it’s not all gone as I would love to be feeling great, full of energy and making “other” things happen. But I’m not, I’m here making this email happen, and truth is I do have this belief that this is just as important, or more important than any of the “other” things I could be playing with right now.
Having that solid core belief I have of “everything being right”, it really helps me handle the many things that come my way that I didn’t and wouldn’t have chosen but that I have to deal with regardless of my choice. Seems that when things happen that we want we call them opportunities, but when they aren’t what we want we call them Challenges, disasters, struggles. And while the un-wanted stuff maybe a Challenge, a disaster, a struggle, I also know that stuff is an opportunity.
Back with more of my stuff soon I’m sure. Take care of you, all of you.
Live life. Love life.