Shifting gears: The calm inside

Shifting gears: The calm inside

You know sometimes our parents have things figured out! Yes believe it or not out there, I’m telling you that your parents have some things figured out and it is possible to learn from their mistakes every now and then.

I’m not saying I’m learning from my parents mistakes here specifically, though I’m sure I have. This time I think it’s more a core personality trait that is teaching me.

You see inside me somewhere, buried deep inside, there exists this “thing.” I don’t know if it can be picked up by a CAT scan or a MRI, but I have to believe it is visible by something because it is such a huge part of me. I’m talking about my ambition, that driving force, that thing that has played a major role in many of my triumphs AND challenges!

Well maybe it’s age, but I like to think it’s more related to my effort, but I’m slowly getting that thing under control. At various times in my life my ambition has had me by the tail and thrown me around like a ragdoll, but not today and not recently.

I’ve been working through a strategic renewal process for RealTime Cancer since June actually, and as I have been working I’ve been constantly talking about it. That is my way, I’m a verbal problem solver and talking things out is one of my favorite ways to work through my stuff.

So as I think out loud, those closest to me are often on the receiving end. My mom and dad probably receive the bulk of my thoughts and they are pretty different personalities – one an entrepreneur the other an engineer (yes I’m over half engineer as I’ve had two shots of my dad’s marrow! For those who don’t know, there is a little rivalry of sorts between the engineers and business crew, friendly of course!).

Back to the story… as I have grown, I’ve learned that in fact I seem to be a pretty well established balance between my mom and my dad.

As balanced as my personality may or may not be, I can tell you that I have consistently struggled with my ambition especially at certain times in the past three years with depleted energy reserves. But alas I feel I’m making progress, and considerably so.

You see, the Geoff Eaton method of creation largely involved seeing an opportunity, fairly instantly recognizing how I could take advantage of it, and then going after it face-first! The concept of detailed strategic planning, which I do love to do, was most often overwhelmed by yes… my ambition. But those days my friends are no longer… (however I do reserve the right to bring them back without notice).

In my discussions with my dad about potential expansion of RealTime Cancer to new regions of Canada (enroute to “taking over the world” as I used to say and firmly believed before I was ever diagnosed with Leukemia almost five years ago. Truth be told, there is still a part of me that believes that in some form I can take over the world and not in a bad dictator kind of way but more in a compassion “help it out” kind of way) he softly presented this idea to me that perhaps if we just continued to focus on Newfoundland and Labrador then it was very likely that we would be drawn out by other forces.

New concept for me to consider. In fact, by focusing my efforts on existing operations it could be possible that other people would demand our services as opposed to me pushing them to new places.

Well consider it I did, and I’m still considering it. In fact I’ve moved past the consideration phase to the point where I’m fully completely practicing that theory. You see I’m in a holding pattern, not physically, but more in the sense that I’m not acting out in any direction right now until I complete this process I have committed to completing.

My thoughts have been flowing, they are plentiful and beautiful ideas that I know will be so much fun to make real, but not yet. I’m holding on, have the ambition shut down in the basement for just a short while and I have a funny feeling tha’s why I’m feeling this calm inside.

I know there is a very real and practical theory that some of us keep “going” or remain in “motion” so to speak, to avoid dealing with the stuff inside. While I’m sure there have been times in my life when that has been exactly what I’ve done, I also know that at my core I have this love of making things happen. And that is still there inside as strong as ever.

But this time, I’m listening to my old man (and some other mentors), and I’m going to stack the deck, complete the process, dot all the “is” and cross my “ts,” and then baby you better look out, ‘cause I’m coming out guns-a-blazing, taking no prisoners, and that “take over the world” think might get back into play.

All of these beautiful ideas relate directly to the next step and next many steps potentially for RealTime Cancer. And you can be sure I’ll be sharing them with you here before I bring them to the rest of the world.

Live life. Love life.


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