I know there are people who expect their Doctors to know everything, and some times they get very upset when they don’t, but I’m not one of those people. Not that I love the fact that there’s things going on that we don’t know about, but the reality is that these bodies of ours are pretty complex contraptions and it can be quite a Challenge to figure them out. I can understand the frustration with not knowing what’s going on… if your blood counts are dropping, or as in my case going up, and no one is quite sure why, that can be frightening and frustrating for the Patient.
I just saw my Doc again today, and while my liver functions have taken a turn in the wrong direction, he’s not too worried as fluctuations aren’t out of the ordinary. They aren’t as high as they were a few weeks ago, but they aren’t anywhere near normal yet either. It’s still a wait and see kind of thing, combined with a few minor adjustments to my drugs. I’ll be back for blood next week at which time hopefully we’ll be moving back in the right direction.
The other issues at present are with that pain in my side, it’s still hanging on, not going away and not getting any worse either. What exactly it is, we’re not sure. And complementing that is a similar kind of pain that is on the left side of my face, right around my left eye and cheek. Again, we’re not sure.
The pain in my face is quite a bit more intense than in my side, and at my Doc’s suggestion I did just take a couple of Tylenol, for the first time in about 4 years. So hopefully that will settle it down a little. Speaking from the self-proclaimed Professional Patient’s perspective, I can say that it’s not uncommon to be in a situation like mine, have things trouble you, and not ever find their source or the cure. I have a long list of pains, cramps, sensations that have never been connected to a cause, they have made me aware of their presence, run their course and disappeared on their own, some times never to be heard from again.
I did have the pleasure of speaking with a Youth Entrepreneurship Camp this morning before I went to the hospital, and as I was speaking to them about Challenge, which is one of my favourite things to talk about, a core belief of mine came to mind regarding Challenge. Specifically the “Unexpected” types of Challenges, the ones that we often view as disasters or trauma. I have concluded that these Challenges are referred to as disasters because they are not what we wanted. They most often arrive in our life without invitation, they aren’t on our wishlist, nor are they in our immediate or long-term plans, thus we often meet them with resentment, confrontation, anger, etc.
And I think two things about that perspective… “you can’t always get what you want”, a little pearl of wisdom from the Rolling Stones. That is true, we can’t and don’t always get what we want, and I think how a person deals with not getting what they want says a lot about them. The other thought I have is that while we may not want the Challenge presented to us, it was presented for a reason.
I know that prior to November 6th, 1998 if you asked me if I would like to be diagnosed with Leukemia I certainly would have said no. However if you were to ask me at any point since my diagnosis if I would like to wind back the clock and trade experiences, I would also say no! This Challenge was given to me for many good reasons, some I’ve figured out, other’s I’m still working on, but they all have great value and are in my best interests.
It’s a beautiful day, and I would love to be out riding my bike, but for some reason my body is keeping me inside resting. So instead of ignoring my body, which I used to be really good at, and pretending the pain isn’t there or pushing myself past where I am comfortable, I’m going to relax. There’s a really good reason or reasons why I’m where I am, and while I may not know all of them, I am smart enough to realize that it’s time for me to rest and relax. So that’s what I’m doing. How are you feeling? Time for a rest? Just thought I would ask.
As always I will keep you posted. Back soon.
Always…
Live Life. Love Life.
Geoff
