Hey everyone, it’s a little late on Friday night and I’m doing something I haven’t done in a long time: Lying in bed writing an email to you all. I don’t remember the last time I did this as it was about 4-6 months ago that I stopped taking my computer to bed, but I felt like having it here tonight for a little reflection. I have written this week’s countdown message which I’ll send later in the weekend, but for now I did just want to touch base with some random thoughts as Victory Party is exactly two weeks away!
I can remember many things about my first week in hospital like it was yesterday, and one thing I remember very prominently was visualizing my Victory Party. I did that right from the beginning, and I referred to that image many times throughout my journey. During the very early part of my series, Game 1, I pictured the Victory Party and figured that April/May 1999 would a good time for it. I obviously had little concept of the road I was about to travel, and certainly no idea that Victory Party would come in April 2001.
But here we are, very near the date.
In some way tonight I feel like I did when I was leaving Toronto after three months and finally returning to the Rock. I remember being quiet in the car on the way to the airport, and even writing about how quiet and “thoughtless” I was while on the plane. I remember searching for a feeling, and not really coming up with anything that I expected. No great celebration inside, although I was definitely glad to be coming home. No sadness, just what seemed to be neutral. And I wasn’t sure why.
When I make time to sit back and reflect on what’s coming I have had much the same feeling inside. I haven’t quite figured out why yet. Some of my perspective is that I feel the need to qualify this “Victory Party” as a “Medical Victory,” and not a victory in general since I’ve had so many Victories throughout the past 27 months, and I’m sure they will continue long after April 13th. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that the 13th isn’t a big day, I guess it’s more that I feel the “intangible” victories that aren’t related to time or blood levels, and those are the victories that I most want to celebrate. I feel most like celebrating that I’m still here, and I do that in my own way every day that I am still here.
April 13th is and will always be an incredible day for me, and I think I am most looking forward to the fact that many of you will be with me to celebrate it. I will look forward to your presence at the celebration.
If you ask me how I am, I’ll tell you “Top of the mountain, and the view is beautiful.”
I am on top of my mountain, and the view is beautiful.
Always…
Live Life. Love Life.
Geoff
