What do I say, where do I begin? I am in such a confused state, I feel pain as my heart hurts, I feel hurt all over from the back of my neck to my eyes, which want to cry but I won’t let them. From my muscles that don’t know how to react as I’m in a situation that is unfamiliar.
I don’t know what to do or what is happening, most of all I feel sad as I lost a person in my life who I barely knew but was significant for sure. He was someone I only met twice, he was young, and much like me, he had this bastard thing called Cancer come into his life and tell him that it was time for a change. No warning, no compromise, change and change now!!!! He was 16 and I have just learned he has died.
I write Cancer with a capital because I respect its awesome power, but its motive I will never care for, as its victims have no choice whether to play its dirty game or not. Cancer’s motives and reasons for stalking and attacking those of all ages, they will be my motivation to win my game, but do much more than that, those motives have and will continue to give me reason to meet Cancer at every corner possible and help kick its ass each and every time we meet.
I know deep inside that there are positive things that result from Cancer and a person’s experience with it, but at times like these they seem less significant. And at the same time I know that many of those positives can result from many other experiences. I think we’ve had enough experiences with Cancer and that it is time for Cancer to excuse itself from the table or be thrown out with the trash, like the sack of shit it is. As if I needed to give one, and as if you needed to hear one, but I’ll do it anyway, here is my pledge to “clear the shit from the table.”
Again you get my thoughts unedited straight from the heart and mind. Sometimes I wonder what to do with my feelings and most times if I can’t figure it out I express them here. Love it or hate it that’s what I do. Take care and I’ll be in touch tomorrow,
Geoff
#4
