By Marley Cameron
For the uncertainty, for the heartbreak.
I hate you for carving away at my body
Piece by piece. Consuming me.
For the scars you left behind, that tell the story of missed opportunity and
A life forever changed.
I hate you for taking away my control.
For deciding what my life has looked like for
The last seven years.
I hate you for the darkness you spread.
Looming over me, never leaving.
For taking away my friends. Some living, but most not.
I hate that I live in constant fear.
Scared of every ache and every pain.
Watching the shadow looming over my shoulder,
Forever wondering when you will be back.
I hate you but I am grateful.
Grateful for the lesson of living my life to the fullest.
Grateful for the joy I may never have found.
For teaching me how to live in each and every moment.
Grateful for the understanding of the value of time.
The joy of knowing that life is short and
The only certainties we have are right now, in this very moment.
Grateful for the purpose.
For the ability to change the life of someone else through
My lived experience and our shared trauma.
Grateful for the connections.
The instant friendships and indescribable bonds.
I am grateful for the strength you forced me to find.
The resiliency, the determination, the power.
I am grateful for the life lessons I had to speed through
And for those who stepped up to help me find my way.
Grateful for the love.
I am grateful, but I hate you.
Click here to read Marley’s previous post on reframing negative thoughts.